Punctuation and Style

Stay Active, Even When You Write
Whenever possible, write in a direct, active voice rather than an indirect, passive one. Active voice generates more powerful and engaging copy. Passive voice waters down your message.

Instead of: “It has been shown by many studies that strength training improves health” (passive).
Try: “Studies show that strength training improves health” (active).

>From Newsletter 2, August 2001

Write Tight
For more effective and readable copy, write concisely. Comb through each draft, deleting unnecessary words and phrases. Remove redundant and irrelevant information. Consider alternative—and shorter—ways to say the same thing. With practice, you'll find it's easy to eliminate clutter without altering meaning.

Instead of: “I drove my car to the gym where I was scheduled to start a program with a personal training client whom I hadn't worked with before.” (26 words)
Try: “I drove to the gym to train a new client.” (10 words)

>From Newsletter 3, September 2001

Avoid Exclamation Overload!
Call me cranky, but when I edit articles and promotional copy I enjoy obliterating exclamation points. Fitness professionals in particular overload copy with exclamation points because they are enthusiastic people by nature. Peppering copy with too much emphatic punctuation, however, weakens the professional and persuasive quality of your writing.

My advice: Use the exclamation point sparingly! More than one or two in an article is probably too many. And ending a sentence with a row of exclamation points is definitely going too far. Instead, practice selecting words and phrases that express your enthusiasm.

>From Newsletter 3, September 2001

You Can "Quote" Me on This
One of the most common mistakes I come across when editing articles, manuals and marketing material is an author's misuse of quotation marks around words that don't need them. Here's an example: Join XYZ Fitness Club and put the "fun" back into your workouts.

In most cases, putting quotation marks around routine, everyday words is not necessary and may even give readers the opposite impression of what you intended (see below).

Remember these four points for when it's correct to use quotation marks around a word or phrase. Otherwise, don't.

1. When you quote someone's style of talking or colorful word choice: Isabelle says the workouts at that club are a "riot."

2. To set off a word or words that may be unfamiliar to the reader the first time you introduce them: The "transversus abdominis" is a key core muscle.

3. To highlight a particularly significant word or one you want to emphasize: If your client answers "yes" to any of these questions, you need a doctor's consent.

4. To express irony, or the opposite of the word in quotes: What a "fun" workout that was.

>From Newsletter 18, January 2003

Variety is the Spice of Writing
Do you want to improve the quality of your articles, brochures, workshop descriptions or website copy? One sure-fire way to make any kind of writing flow better and sound more professional is with variety.

If you rehash words or phrases when you write, try swapping some of the same-olds for new words that communicate a similar meaning. Searching your computer's thesaurus can help you find suitable replacements. For example, I avoid overusing "workout" in an article about exercise by occasionally plugging in alternatives, such as "exercise session," "gym routine," "fitness program" and "physical activity."

>From Newsletter 15, September-October 2002